"Pet Tails": Whiskers' attempt to prolong the vet

Several weeks ago with my cats' last vet visits for Porkey and Athena, I thought that all the cats were going to be settled for their vet appointments on the year until next. Little to my surprise when I received a reminder card in the mail informing me that Whiskers is due for his routine exam and necessary shots. Making an appointment the date that was going to work out the best was day - the day after Thanksgiving at 2:30 in the afternoon.

So it was. Approaching the appointment during the preceding week I reminded Whiskers from time to time that his vet visit was coming up today. I was always met with the same reaction that I usually get from my cats: non chalantly showing no concern for this "vet" place. (Do they not remember what happens when they go there?)

The day came today and just before we were about to leave, I felt the need to then look for his cat carrier. With having five cats, and at any time needing a use of transporting all five cats simulataneously, I had purchased five cat carriers over a year or so ago. Therefore, each cat had his/her own carrier, and I even used a black permanent marker to inscribe their name on the front door opening on the top of the carrier. So five carriers reading Whiskers, Tabby, Porkey, Athena and Sylvester.

I knew the carrier underturned beneath the gerbil's cage was not his as I cleaned Mr. G's cage earlier in the day. Perhaps it was the carrier that sits overturned and inside out in the bathroom on the floor that I keep a blanket in for Sylvester who's in there 90% of the time. Maybe it was one of the two cat carriers that I brought in from the car earlier when I cleaned it out so I could fit one of my old rabbit's cages into the car to get it out of the way from in here. Where could it be? I began walking all around the apartment and looking everywhere that I could think of. Where is his carrier? Where is Whiskers' pet carrier?? Eventually not finding it but needing to head out, I just took the nearest one I found and put a blanket towel in there and loaded up Whiskers. As I stood there trying to figure out what to do, Whiskers sat on the other side of the couch in the living room just watching me. Watching me... staring at me.... and I am sure laughing at me.

I tried to tell him that it wasn't going to matter. His carrier or one of the others', we were still going to go into the vet. It was actually a very humorous moment! Of all the cat carriers that I have, the one that I can not find is.... his! On the day he goes to the vet!

So I load him up and take him out to the car and we drive in. During the ride in of course he did the cries of help. Like anyone's going to hear him in the car where it's just us!

Arriving at the vet clinic I wasn't surprised to see a few other cars there, as with the time in the mid-afternoon it was sure to be a busy moment in the day. It's less busy earlier in the day in the early morning than it is later in the day. Obviously. A few people in the waiting area, so I sign in with the receptionist lady and take a seat.

Over the next hour that I waited - yes, that's right, after getting there it was almost an hour before our appointment came up - we watched a variety of pets and other owners. One or two people were in with their dogs. But the rest were cat owners, like us. One lady and man were daring enough to bring in their orange kitty without a carrier or anything and he didn't run away. Another lady and man came in with their two cats, one with each. The man carried that cat in a carrier, but the lady brought the car in....what appeared to be a pillow case. :) She had set him down in there and then kinda held it up close to her with the top secured around his head so that he couldn't climb or run out. It was both silly and a bit.....odd. I didn't even realize it but apparently I sat down initially next to a guy who was in with his cat and....he's someone I work with. Shows you how much I look around and notice those around me.

So after about 50 minutes of waiting we finally got in. Almost immediately after going into the only exam room they have operating (!!!) the technician right there just took him in his carrier out back to get weighed. So I ended up waiting about 5 more minutes or so before he came back with the technician and the actual vet-lady. So he gets checked out and gets the clean bill of health. Vet did point out how he has a bit of redness in his gums in his teeth. Something all my cats seem to have, but yet they eat dry food and get some crunchy cat treats from time to time.

Anyway, the most interesting point of the visit? The most important aspect of probably any vet visit of any of my five cats during the entire year?

Whiskers is now the officially heaviest of my five cats. Ever since I got the first two cats, Porkey and Tabby, back in 2001, Porkey has been the heaviest. Even after adding the other three to the family in the next few years he was still the heaviest.

No longer. Porkey at his visit a few months back was just above 15 pounds - maybe 15.0-15.5 pound range. Whiskers at his visit today? 16.4 pounds. I would have to go back and check, but there's a possibility that Whiskers is now a full pound heavier than his "little" brother. Maybe not a full pound, but it could be even about .... well, the difference between them could be anywhere between 0.3-1.3 pounds. Depends on what Porkey's record says, and I don't have the paper in front of me.

Whiskers the heaviest cat? It doesn't really surprise me. I just didn't expect that it would ever be confirmed.

L.A.R. - part two

It was a week ago today that I had to surrender my two rabbits, Emilo and Sarah, to the local animal shelter facility in my town. It was immensely difficult on me that day, but as the day came to a close and I went about my day the next morning on Saturday, I thought I'd get better. I though I could slowly start to move on with my life, and to not feel like a big of a failure of a pet rabbit owner.

During the lead-up to the surrender, I found myself listening to two different songs more so than others on my mp3 player. One of them was "Apologize" by One Republic and Timbaland. Part of it was regarding my ex-Susan and her apparent attempt of trying to reconnect with me. After what she did to me and the position she left me in... why would I want anything to do with her now? I gave her a chance....and several more changes...and she didn't take it. So if she feels like she misses me now and feels guilty about what she did (which I hope she does), its too late to apologize. But I also felt like listening to the song because it was also reminding me of my rabbits. I felt like apologizing to them about things getting to this point where we have to part our ways, but.... what good is it to apologize when things aren't going to magically change at the last minute. There wasn't any point in me apologizing to the rabbits.

The other song I found myself listening to was "Umbrella" by Rihanna. The lyrics of the song just really hit hard to me. Trying to be an umbrella to my pets in providing them shelter and support...... The line about where she sings how it's "raining" now which I relate to me trying to be an umbrella but being unable to stop the rain. If you haven't heard the song, go do as its a good tune.

Anytime either of these songs came up on my mp3 player I tended to slow down or stop what I was doing and it made me begin to reflect on my life. Where I had come to in order to be letting my rabbits go and how hard it was on me emotionally.

Two days later, this past Sunday, I was arranged to go with my mom and stepdad to a post-Church service Thanksgiving-like dinner at the church. Because I was needing to catch up on my sleep, I let my mom know that I would not be going to the church service earlier in the day with them but I could make it into the dinner. Which she was cool with.

So that morning I got showered and dressed up. Mom said service would last until about 11:30 and the dinner lunch was to be right afterward. So I planned to get up there at just about 11:30. On the way up there in my car, guess what song comes on the radio as I am getting into my car to leave my place?

"Apologize" by One Republic and Timbaland. It nearly set me off hearing that song. Knowing that I was going somewhere I would have to be and couldn't be wearing my emotions on my sleeve, so to speak, I attempted to hold it together the best I could.

The dinner lunch itself was all right. Turkey was good, mashed potatoes were good, and so forth. It's not always my thing to go to church, in particular as this church is predominantly old and elderly people. Not, not just people who are like 10-20 years older than me (haha, that makes them old right?), but we're talking about little old men and women in their 70s and 80s and 90s. It was nice though to see my mom and stepdad and my sister and her husband and my two little nieces where there. It was all nice and ok. Mom asked me about the critters and if I had found a home for the rabbits yet. So I had to suck it up and talk to her briefly about how I was unable to, and had in fact on Friday dropped them off at the shelter. I think she could tell it was hard on me. After eating people were sitting around and having "fellowship". I waited around until my comfortable moment to make my exit. When mom looked like she was going to be talking to this guy sitting next to her for a while, I took that time to get stood up, and waited for a chance to thank her for the meal and that I was heading out then. Got to the coat rack, got my coat, and headed out. Got to my car, got in and started the car and was preparing to head back home where football was waiting for me as the afternoon 1pm games had already begun by then. I turned the car on, and the radio began playing.

One guess what song was immediately playing on the radio....

L.A.R. = Life After (My) Rabbits

The first part to this email clearly would be my entry about how "Black Friday" has come to me one week-early, although not in the same spirit as the traditional "Black Friday" which is more commonly known as the retail shopping day after Thanksgiving.

On Friday, November 16th, I surrendered my two pet rabbits to the shelter. That morning I packed them up into pet carriers, cleaned out their cages, loaded one into my car, brought along a storage container with their food dishes and water bottles. Then along with the rabbits in tow, I drove the sad drive across town to the animal shelter that I am so very familiar with. Just as I was nearing my way across the parking area on foot with supplies in hand to the door, the shelter manager Betsy - whom I would consider a good friend based on what I have gone through being a volunteer there for the past 3+ years - was there to open the door. She greeted me with a 'morning', but noted she left the 'good-' off the greeting as she knew it was not much of a good start to the day for me. She said this outloud to me too. And I was in agreement. It was a morning, but unlike any others.

Set up their cages, filled water bottles, filled dishes with fresh rabbit food, and got everything all set. Then one by one I took the rabbits out of their carrier that I brought them in. I held them close to me. Held them tightly in my arms as close to my heart as they could be. And with tears strolling down my eyes, down my cheeks and to the floor, I told them that they were a pair of really great pets for the past few years that they have been a part of my life. They have been excellent rabbits, very well behaved, and a great set of pets that a person to could have. I would never forget the good times we have had, and that they would find just as good of a home by going into the shelter. That some day very soon someone would come in and want a wonderful rabbit to take home to make a part of their home, just like I had done with them. After putting Sarah into her new cage, I did the same with Emilo. After which was one of the saddest moments I had to endure. Closing their cage doors, securing it shut, and then sitting down to fill out the owner-release forms. Officially and legally signing over control and possession of the rabbits and their well-being to the shelter and releasing them from my life.

While in at the shelter until I left, I was in tears. Betsy and even other shelter employee Crystal, another friend of mine, expressed their concern to me as I left, but.... what can I say? I couldn't say anything. I no more gave a slight shrug of my shoulders and barely spoke at all as I walked out.

It's been a bit of a life change to say the least. Even as I sit here on my living room couch early in the morning on Sunday the 18th, I look over in the general direction of where the rabbit cages had been since we moved into this apartment about a year ago. No more do I see two big animal cages with two rabbits in them. Instead I see one rabbit cage that sits motionless and empty. I hear no sounds of chewing on metal bars, and no one shaking toys around their cage. No need to say "heyyyyyyy Emilo!" or "Saaaaaaa-rah!!!!" because there's no one to hear it. (Well, no one outside of my cats).

There is one benefit of the situation as it now is. Certainly not as much weekly cleaning needed to animal cages, and wood shavings will be cut down a lot from being cleaned up off the floor. However, is it all worth it? I'd much rather have my rabbits and clean up after them, than to have things cleaner and not have them here. But I know that I can't as the landlord is prefering me to not have as many animals in this (size) apartment.

I am trying to remain happy as can be. I still have my cats - Porkey, Tabby, Athena, Whiskers, and Sylvester. As well as the goldfish Goldie. And I do still have the pet rat Mattie and gerbil Mr G, but.... the rabbits were just as much a part of the family as any of them are/were.

It just feels different to not have them here. While I saw them again in the morning of Saturday the 17th when I went in to do my weekly volunteering, it was difficult to see them in there. Knowing that I could not have them with me at home.

So while its been a big change to the household situation not having them here, it has also been a bit of a life-learning experience for me. Not only am I learning how to cope with such a situation and loss, but I am learning a bit more about the people around me.

Leading up to Friday the 16th I told most people that I could about how I was having to give up the rabbits. In part with hopes that someone might say that they could take one or both in themself. While no one was able to show me that, they have shown me a lot more.

When you know that someone you claim to care about and support is in a time of depression and sadness, you show them comfort and compassion and friendship. To just let them know that you're there for them in their time of need. What have I learned from this? Just who is there for me and who isn't. Some people who are clearly aware of my situation and depression involving the rabbits have chosen to not say anything.

One former "friend" said nothing at all to me all week. No emails, no IMs, no messages via MySpace. Suddenly later in the day on Friday after I was already back at home I did receive a message from this woman. Did she express her sorrow for me? No. She was wanting to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving if she didnt speak to me before then. ???? Who the hell cares about the upcoming holiday in a time like this? I dont care about anything else except the idea that my rabbits are no longer "mine". The heartbreak I'm feeling? That's my concern, not a day of eating freshly cooked turkey. She knew about the rabbits and said nothing in support?!

Another soon-to-be former "friend" has reacted similarly. About 8 days ago now I left this woman a profile comment on MySpace. Even though it had been a day or two earlier when I last heard from her. Have I heard any response or reply from her since then? Nothing. Not a single word from this woman in just over a week now. Maybe she's just not been online at all? Ahhhhh, no. She has been online. I know for a fact because she's constantly changed her status message on MySpace to reflect whatever it is that she's doing. She's had the time to change her status message on there, but not to reply to me. She too knew about my rabbit situation, but has said NOTHING in terms of support.

There have been more individuals than just these, but its not worth the time getting into. I could probably count on one hand by fingers the people who have shown their support to me in this time, which doesn't say much good.

My feeling? Most people I know out there are more concerned with themselves. If they have something good going on with them, they want to share and even gloat it in my face. If they have something bad going on in their life, they want to talk to me so I can help them through it. That's all in good. But.... what about when I have something good going on in my life? Who's there to share it with me? When I am feeling sad and down, who's there to hold me? All those people who were looking for attention from me, do not seem to want to give me attention. Is that selfish? I think not. If you want support from someone else, why can't you give it to them in return?

So in addition to learning about myself as I let go of my rabbits from my life, I have learned more about those around me. Those who have concern for me and my mental well-being right now. And those who appear to care less.

To those who have shown there care for me in this time, I send out a big thank you.

To those who have chosen not to say anything or have any concern....those who are more concerned selfishly about their own lives and expect me to always do things for them but never have the desire to do anything in return...... To those who have known that I have been terribly depressed and sad lately during this circumstance of releasing my rabbits..... I have other words for those people. Words that I will not bother printing here because they'd be considered tasteless, improper, harsh, and qutie a bit...well....probably obscene.

What would someone expect otherwise? I'm depressed and sad and crying and someone doesn't even have the decency to give me a hug but they're all about talking about how they have a new job? F*** that!

I'm not like other people. I don't have the brillance that others have. I don't have the money that some do. I don't have a glamorous or glorifying job that some do. I don't have significant other I can call any time of day and feel love in my heart for like others do. My life? All I have in my life is my pets. So when I have to give up any of them, that's just like giving up part of my life. Giving up that which is a part of "me". So it's going to me more to me than it would someone else.

Giving up my rabbits was incredibly difficult on my mind and my heart the past few days, and will be so for some time. If someone can't understand that, then they don't know me. And if they can't be a friend and be there for me in this time, then they are no friend of mine.

'Black Friday' coming one week early

Everyone knows that the day after Thanksgiving is known as "Black Thursday" because it's one of the biggest shopping retail days of the year. So-called because it's when retailers go from being in the red (bad) in the financial books to being in the black (good) with lots of sales and profit and revenue. Most years it doesn't mean much to me as I've never been one to get up at 5am to go in for the super-special sales they have going on before like 10am, or even do much shopping that day itself. Most years in the past I would work that day because at my current job it's considered one of the company holidays where Thanksgiving and this Friday after we get it automatically paid as a day off, but if we work it then we get that money PLUS double-time for whatever hours we put in. So if you work 8 hours on one of those days, you get it paid 8 automatically plus two-times-8, for a total of 24 hours worth of "pay" just for that one day alone. Double that if you do it for Thanksiving and the day after.

This year is a change. Because I have the second job that I have, there is no need to try to get the extra holiday bonus money. So for the first time in about 6 or 7 years or so I'll be able to have it off. I won't have to work Thanksgiving or the day after. Really looking forward to it as it'll mean some time off, with only one vet appointment scheduled for one of my cats on that Friday.

But this year has also brought heartache.

The short of the long story is that this couple that used to live in an apartment downstairs from me didn't do good at cleaning up after their cat and small dog they had with them. So after getting evicted in the past 2-3 months the landlord spoke to me if I had all the pets still that I have. I told her that I did. She knew about them from having to come in here to fix the heating vents when it was malfunctioning shortly after moving in last December/early this year in January. She knew what I had for pets and expressed amazement but otherwise nothing came of it. Skip ahead 7 or 8 months to this conversation I had with her. I believe that only for the reason that she had problems with the couple downstairs and cleaning up their apartment after them, while she KNOWS that I have no problem cleaning up after my pets (as I do a great job cleaning up after them!) she just felt that I had too many for this size apartment. The best deal I could make with her was to be able to keep my five cats, and find new homes for my 2 rabbits, pet gerbil, and pet rat. For all purposes I believe I can try to "hide" the gerbil and pet rat in a smaller cage in the apartment, but the rabbits need their cages. So I've spent the past few months hoping first for a second job to get caught up on bills so I could find a larger apartment to move to, then to looking for someone to take them in and give them a new home, to also hoping to find someone to take them in where I could still visit them and even take them back should I move to a bigger apartment.

However after several weeks and a month or two, nothing has worked out. No one I have spoken to is either interested or capable of taking in either of my two rabbits. I kept meaning to visit this rabbit rescue organization that is in the next town over that the manager at the local animal shelter, a GOOD friend of mine, suggested to me. But anytime I got the time I either couldn't find it, or I got busy with other things and didn't make it over.

According to the landlord, she'd hope for me to have this completed by winter time when they start heating the building. Solely for the reason of not having things to block the heating vents or whatnot.

I've tried and I've tried to find them new homes, but nothing has worked. So it's not doing any good for me to continue to hold onto them when I know that in the end I'm having to give them up no matter what. As it turned out, on November 16 I have a scheduled vacation day from my fulltime job and have the day off from my parttime job. Thus I felt that it'd be a day I could use to take care of this.

As you may know by looking at the calendar, the 16th is this very week - in 2 mere days away. For all intensive purposes it'll be a day when I pack up their supplies and take them into the animal shelter. Leave their future with the shelter staff in hoping that they will find them each a good new loving home.

It's becoming extremely hard on me. Very emotionally, especially this week. Many times while working at my fulltime job I find myself thinking about the rabbits.... how I've been a failure of a owner for them..... and how after Friday I will probably never see them again..... I almost break down in tears. I am trying to keep it together by listening to my recording of that day's "Bob & Sheri" show in hopes of having some laughs, but even after I am finished listening to it.... my mind drifts back.

I've had one rabbit for about 2 years (Sarah), and the other (Emilo) for about 6 years. Emilo I got when I was living downstate going to college. Sarah I got about two years ago as I was volunteering at the local animal shelter here in town. She was part of a seizure of animals from a property in town. She was one of two rabbits that came in - and as it turned out the other rabbit got adopted by the time I thought I could take one in, so I took her in. I named her Sarah after a really great cat that was in the room that I regularly cleaned, who was in there for several months before she (the cat) was adopted.

When you adopt an animal and take it into your home, you make it a promise that you'll care for it, love it, and provide it a forever-home. As with all my pets that I have ever had, I've made the unspoken promise. Promising them that no matter what happens they'd stay with me. That if I needed to move I'd make sure that they could all come with me. I chose the apartment that I am living at now because I could have multiple cats.

However, all that I have done and tried has gone for nothing. And I feel like a big-time failure. I promised the rabbits that they'd be with me always, and in 2 days I'm having to let them go and say goodbye. Forever. I've had them for 2 years, and 6 years, respectively.

People may not understand, nor do I care if anyone does. My pets are like part of my family. My pets ARE my family. I'm not cool enough to have a lot of friends. I'm not sweet enough or handsome enough to have a lot of women chasing me, so its not like I have any romantic options that exist. My days are spent either working, or... at home.

My pets have always been a part of me. I love my cats, I love my rabbits, I love my fish, gerbil and the pet rat. It's one thing when I've had a "critter" that will pass away overnight or while I am out and I find it in its cage. Sometimes that happens in life. But it's easier to deal with. Easier to deal with than having to give one up, knowing that it's healthy and fine but... it just can't live with you. This ain't like me finding a hamster dead in its cage. This is about me giving up my rabbits so they can go live with someone else, and I can spend the rest of my days wondering how they are doing and if they're ok.

My rabbits should be with me, but they can't. And it's tearing my heart apart. One good way that I am looking at it is that I'll still have my cats - all five of them - with me. That is what is trying to keep me held together.

People are looking forward to "Black Friday" to do their shopping on the biggest day of the year.

I'm not looking forward to my own "Black Friday", which is coming a week earlier. Which will be one of the hardest days of my life.

"Pet Tails": T-a-double b-y to the v-e-t

This past Monday, November 5th, my cat Tabitha - more commonly known as Tabby - had her yearly routine exam and check-up. And shots. Originally it was scheduled with two of my other cats, Porkey and Athena, at their visit back in August or September, but due to financial constrictions I opted to postpone the exam until I was better able to financial handle the situation.

Of course leading up to the vet visits I am always dropping hints any little way that I can to my cats. Making sure they know that "the vet visit is this Monday," or "Tabby you and I are going to the vet tomorrow," or "Tabby....guess where you and I are going this morning!" However no matter how much I try to prepare the cats.... it's as though they don't listen to me and act surprised when I get the cat carriers out of storage from the closet.

"Ohhhhh, what's that Jay? Is that one of our cat carriers that you have for us? Is someone going somewhere? Huh, Jay, huh?"

As was the case with Tabby. She didn't know what was going on until I put her in the carrier, closed the door, and set it next to the door as I put my shoes on. As we walked down the stairs in my apartment building to go out the front door and then outside on the way to the car.... came the pitiful, pathetic, sad cries of a car that thinks its being treated badly by its very nice owner. :)

All the way on the drive to the vet I heard the cries of "Meow! Meow!" Come on now. Nothing like breaking a guy's heart here! You're making me feel like a bad owner, Tabby! :(

Luckily when we arrived at the vet there were no other vehicles in the parking lot, and no one else waiting in the waiting area. It felt unusual not because of the time of day (9am) or for any other reason except....the ladies working the reception desk were probably ones I had seen before but they didn't really have the familiar faces of the ladies that I am used to. Or the very adorable Liz who works there as a vet tech. I wouldn't mind have seen her there. Anyway, so it wasn't a long wait before we got in.

Overall her health was good. Though my cats seem to have a slight, very small problem with tartar developing on some of their teeth. Tabby didn't have any fleas, mites, or problems with her ears. Her heart sounded good, and everything else that the vet checked was on the a-ok for the "Tabber".

The notable issue out of the visit that we learned? Tabby gained weight since her last visit. I don't have the papers in front of me to reference it for an official number, but to my recollection I believe it was about .25-.50 pounds since her last visit last year. Which is surprising as she's been mostly the thinnest of the five cats I have. Not saying that she's the smallest by any means, although she is the oldest (approximately 8-1/2 years old). But... it was just unexpected. I'd expect it from Porkey and Whiskers as both my 'big boys' are about 15-16 pounds each (yes you read that right), or even the other half of "the Black & White Boys" Sylvester, but...Tabby?!

Still can't figure out how she gained any weight. I know my cats don't probably get too much exercise as they are strictly indoor cats now. At this point last year we were still living at our previous residence where they were allowed outside. Now, since we live right in downtown PI along Main Street (I see it out my living room window like 20 feet away from me), they do not go outside. Far too many dangers, including the risk of them running way for me to ever let them loose at all. So they only really have the apartment to run around in. My apartment is by no means a palace, but its not the small place I was living at before. Its a small, affordable, reasonable place for just a single guy - which I am. I don't need too much room as more room means more rent per month. But I do have places that the cats can jump up into, and of course between the five of them there are often episodes of someone being chased around. From living room to bed room, to bathroom, to bedroom, to living room, and so on and so on. However, wouldn't a cat need to eat extraordinary amounts of food and really do absolutely nothing?

My cats are far from being inactive. As if my blogs and stories about their antics and hijinks's are any evidence. :)

While it was amazing and shocking when a few months ago at his vet visit that Porkey registered a slight weight gain, all I can say is....

I think I know where that pound or less went to.

"Pet Tails": thoughts of the cats

"Jay, do you really need to know everything us cats are up to??"

"Go ahead outside, Jay. We'll supervise from here in the window inside where it's nice and warm while you go outside and shovel the snow!"

"Pet Tails": my cats...are...laughing...at...me

(originally written on July 21, 2007)

Last night I went to a birthday party for my niece, Amelia. She's turning 2, as far as I can remember. LOL. Well, they did the birthday party in a theme of SpongeBob SquarePants because she's kinda into SpongeBob, calling him "BobBob". From what my brother in law said last night she actually calls him "BobBob Bob Pants".

Anyway, one of the favors I brought home were some of the SpongeBob stuff they had. including the cardboard party hats that is all decked out in a SpongeBob design.

This morning after I got up I tried to see if any of the cats would wear the hat. its got that stringy elastic cord that hangs down so it goes under your chin as you have the hat on your head. None of the cats really wanted to wear it.

I was just about to settle down to read more on the Harry Potter book I bought when I saw the hat sitting nearby. With Tabby and Sylvester already laying on the bed.... EXACTLY where I was going to lay down as I read on the book.... I thought I'd tease them. So I put the hat on my head and am wearing it right now.

My cats?

They're laughing at me as though I am some sort of weirdo.

What do they know? Me...weird? Why would they be laughing at me right now?

"Pet Tails": My katz are my kidz

People who know me, know how much my cats mean to me.

Porkey, Tabby, Athena, Whiskers and Sylvester.

When my family talks to me, they're always asking "how are the critters? how are the cats?" My family, the people who know me the closest know that I love them, care for them the best that I can, and that they mean a lot to me in my life.

Sometimes they, as well as some friends in my life, have referred to them as my kids. And that is quite true.

They are like my kids. I wake up with them in the morning. I miss them as I get ready to head off to work leaving them here. They are as excited to see me come home during the day and at the end of my work night as much as I am glad to see them.

They make me cry in things they do that upset me...

They make me laugh when they do things that are silly...

And they make me feel very loved with things that they do that show me that they appreciate me as an owner, a provider for them, and someone who has given them a home and rescued them from an unknown life elsewhere at an animal shelter or on the street.

They are like my kids and I am protective of them.

Someone that I used to know only a few months back told me something that I have heard before but has stuck in my mind the past few weeks. They are a single mother and they are not very apt to just bring new guys home of someone they might be dating to meet her sons because she didnt want them to get attached to the person only to have the guy leave shortly or not stick around for the long-term.

Similarly, I have become that way with my cats. People in my very near past have shown me that even those that are the closest to you in your life, that claim to care for you and show concern for you, can not necessarily be who they say they are. I have dated a few people in the past few years since I have had my cats, they have met my cats and shown them affection and my cats have gotten used to someone new around here. Normally it's just me and almost always me. But they like to meet new people.

I cant begin to say that I know what animals thing, but I like to guess. What must my cats think about when I come home crying...

When I come home feeling upset or depressed...

When the weekend comes and instead of having friends to hang out with or a woman to romanticize, I spend my times alone hanging out by myself...

When I bring someone home to meet them and express even to them when we're just here how much I care for another person, only to have that person leave me in my life...

My cats are a part of my life. Therefore what someone does to me, they do to them too.

I can accept someone doing something to me as I can deal with it on my own.

My cats.... are my weak spot. I have always told myself that people cross the line when they do things that outright disrespect my pets or do something that woudl adversely affect them and their life or well being.

Do what you want to me as I dont care. But do something to affect my cats in a bad manner, and that's when I have to stand up.

After some recent thinking I have gotten to the point of knowing just how much my cats are like my kids.

I may not have given birth to them, but they are MY CATS.

Make me homeless and broke and left alone if you want...

But make my cats homeless, live with an owner who struggles to buy them food, or does somethign to affect their life where we don't have a good place to live or survive at...

There are some things in my life that I can forgive and forget.

Cross me and you may be forgiven or forgotten for what has gone on...

Cross my cats, my kids, my life...you'll find out what its forgiven and forgotten...

And what isn't.