'Black Friday' coming one week early

Everyone knows that the day after Thanksgiving is known as "Black Thursday" because it's one of the biggest shopping retail days of the year. So-called because it's when retailers go from being in the red (bad) in the financial books to being in the black (good) with lots of sales and profit and revenue. Most years it doesn't mean much to me as I've never been one to get up at 5am to go in for the super-special sales they have going on before like 10am, or even do much shopping that day itself. Most years in the past I would work that day because at my current job it's considered one of the company holidays where Thanksgiving and this Friday after we get it automatically paid as a day off, but if we work it then we get that money PLUS double-time for whatever hours we put in. So if you work 8 hours on one of those days, you get it paid 8 automatically plus two-times-8, for a total of 24 hours worth of "pay" just for that one day alone. Double that if you do it for Thanksiving and the day after.

This year is a change. Because I have the second job that I have, there is no need to try to get the extra holiday bonus money. So for the first time in about 6 or 7 years or so I'll be able to have it off. I won't have to work Thanksgiving or the day after. Really looking forward to it as it'll mean some time off, with only one vet appointment scheduled for one of my cats on that Friday.

But this year has also brought heartache.

The short of the long story is that this couple that used to live in an apartment downstairs from me didn't do good at cleaning up after their cat and small dog they had with them. So after getting evicted in the past 2-3 months the landlord spoke to me if I had all the pets still that I have. I told her that I did. She knew about them from having to come in here to fix the heating vents when it was malfunctioning shortly after moving in last December/early this year in January. She knew what I had for pets and expressed amazement but otherwise nothing came of it. Skip ahead 7 or 8 months to this conversation I had with her. I believe that only for the reason that she had problems with the couple downstairs and cleaning up their apartment after them, while she KNOWS that I have no problem cleaning up after my pets (as I do a great job cleaning up after them!) she just felt that I had too many for this size apartment. The best deal I could make with her was to be able to keep my five cats, and find new homes for my 2 rabbits, pet gerbil, and pet rat. For all purposes I believe I can try to "hide" the gerbil and pet rat in a smaller cage in the apartment, but the rabbits need their cages. So I've spent the past few months hoping first for a second job to get caught up on bills so I could find a larger apartment to move to, then to looking for someone to take them in and give them a new home, to also hoping to find someone to take them in where I could still visit them and even take them back should I move to a bigger apartment.

However after several weeks and a month or two, nothing has worked out. No one I have spoken to is either interested or capable of taking in either of my two rabbits. I kept meaning to visit this rabbit rescue organization that is in the next town over that the manager at the local animal shelter, a GOOD friend of mine, suggested to me. But anytime I got the time I either couldn't find it, or I got busy with other things and didn't make it over.

According to the landlord, she'd hope for me to have this completed by winter time when they start heating the building. Solely for the reason of not having things to block the heating vents or whatnot.

I've tried and I've tried to find them new homes, but nothing has worked. So it's not doing any good for me to continue to hold onto them when I know that in the end I'm having to give them up no matter what. As it turned out, on November 16 I have a scheduled vacation day from my fulltime job and have the day off from my parttime job. Thus I felt that it'd be a day I could use to take care of this.

As you may know by looking at the calendar, the 16th is this very week - in 2 mere days away. For all intensive purposes it'll be a day when I pack up their supplies and take them into the animal shelter. Leave their future with the shelter staff in hoping that they will find them each a good new loving home.

It's becoming extremely hard on me. Very emotionally, especially this week. Many times while working at my fulltime job I find myself thinking about the rabbits.... how I've been a failure of a owner for them..... and how after Friday I will probably never see them again..... I almost break down in tears. I am trying to keep it together by listening to my recording of that day's "Bob & Sheri" show in hopes of having some laughs, but even after I am finished listening to it.... my mind drifts back.

I've had one rabbit for about 2 years (Sarah), and the other (Emilo) for about 6 years. Emilo I got when I was living downstate going to college. Sarah I got about two years ago as I was volunteering at the local animal shelter here in town. She was part of a seizure of animals from a property in town. She was one of two rabbits that came in - and as it turned out the other rabbit got adopted by the time I thought I could take one in, so I took her in. I named her Sarah after a really great cat that was in the room that I regularly cleaned, who was in there for several months before she (the cat) was adopted.

When you adopt an animal and take it into your home, you make it a promise that you'll care for it, love it, and provide it a forever-home. As with all my pets that I have ever had, I've made the unspoken promise. Promising them that no matter what happens they'd stay with me. That if I needed to move I'd make sure that they could all come with me. I chose the apartment that I am living at now because I could have multiple cats.

However, all that I have done and tried has gone for nothing. And I feel like a big-time failure. I promised the rabbits that they'd be with me always, and in 2 days I'm having to let them go and say goodbye. Forever. I've had them for 2 years, and 6 years, respectively.

People may not understand, nor do I care if anyone does. My pets are like part of my family. My pets ARE my family. I'm not cool enough to have a lot of friends. I'm not sweet enough or handsome enough to have a lot of women chasing me, so its not like I have any romantic options that exist. My days are spent either working, or... at home.

My pets have always been a part of me. I love my cats, I love my rabbits, I love my fish, gerbil and the pet rat. It's one thing when I've had a "critter" that will pass away overnight or while I am out and I find it in its cage. Sometimes that happens in life. But it's easier to deal with. Easier to deal with than having to give one up, knowing that it's healthy and fine but... it just can't live with you. This ain't like me finding a hamster dead in its cage. This is about me giving up my rabbits so they can go live with someone else, and I can spend the rest of my days wondering how they are doing and if they're ok.

My rabbits should be with me, but they can't. And it's tearing my heart apart. One good way that I am looking at it is that I'll still have my cats - all five of them - with me. That is what is trying to keep me held together.

People are looking forward to "Black Friday" to do their shopping on the biggest day of the year.

I'm not looking forward to my own "Black Friday", which is coming a week earlier. Which will be one of the hardest days of my life.